He kissed me passionately, and the way he made love to me was brilliant. His touch was filled with such sweet tenderness that I often cried afterwards, he gave me the kind of special treatment that I’d never been bestowed upon before. I was certain that he was the one for me, and after two months of dating, I knew I was going to fall in love with him. But fate didn’t allow it. Darren got hit by a car while crossing the street in his neighborhood. He died en route to the hospital. I was devastated when I heard the news. I grieved his death for many months after the accident. I don’t think I’ll ever meet another Darren again. I didn’t date Darren long enough to fall in love with him. In fact, I have never been in love. Everyone tells me that since I’m twenty-four years old, I should be in love already, or at least should have experienced a first love. But I haven’t. No first love, not any kind of love. Sometimes I wonder that if I ever fall in love, will he love me? Now that I think. We ended up as partners in spades that first night. We ended the night undefeated.Three nights later, we we’re both up late. He was stressing about his hearing but hiding it better than I was hiding my stress of going to prison. I was 6’2” tall, a hundred and seventy pounds of somewhat lean muscle, and long wavy reddish brown hair.“I know some people downstate. I can send a kite with you to give to them and you'll be taken care of,” Nashville said to me after a while.“Not to be a dick,” I said, “But what do I have to do for this kite?”“I’m gonna need you to get me off,” he said, “Twice.”“Excuse me?” I replied.“What I really want is to fuck that ass of yours,” he clarified, “But I’ll accept a good blow job.”“You know I'm not gay right?”“It’s not about that,” he said, “I’m not gay either. But I have been locked up for seven years with five more to go. Masturbation gets old.”“You’ll have to let me think about this,” I said after a long pause. The problem was mostly a question of trust..
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